Of Love and Marriage
Loading ...Today is valentines, friends are asking where we intend to have a romantic dinner, I said it’ll be in a room surrounded by mirrors 
Boy, it will be expensive to go for a date today (and a little bit korni too).
Anyway, allow me to share my thoughts about love and marriage. I have been married for almost 16 years, the courtship goosebumps are no longer there, and love has evolved from a mere emotion to a commitment.
Marriage is more than a piece of paper, it is about a promise made to another person witnessed by God and other people. A promise to love even when the excitement is no longer there, a promise of exclusivity, a promise to make the marriage work inspite and despite of….
I have no intention to downplay factors caused by separation, divorce or annulment, neither to disregard the violence and pain experienced by some. I don’t wish to talk about other relationships, I just wish to share mine. I don’t have a perfect marriage nor claim to be a blameless husband. I’m like every other guy facing similar temptations but must choose how to respond and react, either to go for the kill or consider the consequences of my actions.
Once in our marriage life, we have the option to call it quits, anyways, we don’t have kids at that time. And I’m the villain and the jerk. In the middle of chaos, pain, confusion, bankruptcy. We hang on to the promise we made to each other, though difficult since the trust is violated. We survived that stage and as a result, God gifted us with 2 kids, a son who is 10 years old now, and a daughter who is 8 ( prior to this, we are unable to have kids for 5 years).
We came a long way since that episode, we are still arguing and imperfect though. But at the end of the day, a fact still remains: We made a promise to each other before God. That promise empower us to extend our patience, understanding and tolerance.
To us, love is not magic, goosebumps or emotional chuvaluh. Yes it started that way, but it evolved into a commitment. Soon, we will grow a little more older, and sex will no longer be a factor, but it doesn’t mean we no longer love each other. Soon we may not be as good looking as we used to be and we may smell like earth, but it doesn’t mean we no longer love each other. Though the emotion is no longer as intense as when we started courting, it doesn’t mean love is no longer present. Though it is expected that we will not always make each other happy, it doesn’t mean we can no longer love each other.
In the absence of all these indicators (that people used to gauge love), it doesn’t mean marriage should be terminated. It’s better not to marry than to give a marriage vow and not keep it. Keeping the marriage vow is where the children learn and understand what love, commitment and keeping one’s promise is all about. The media, society and peers are not good alternative. Integrity is best looked at in marriage.
Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own,is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never fails;
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
If you find this interesting, subscribe to my feeds or
e-mail to get regular updates, or add this site to your Technorati Favorites.
To contact me, go this way.
You can follow the discussion here,
or by checking the email subscription tag, below the comment box. Thank you for the visit.
tip box
Comments
“…love is not magic, goosebumps or emotional chuvaluh”
lol at chuvaluh.
i am not yet married but i understand what you posted because i saw them in my parents and i grow up knowing that getting married is a commitment made in front of God to stay together no matter what.
happy v-day! (just got here from pbs)
zherwin’s last blog post..More of Anawangin
I once thought that marriage is a very, very scary, horrifying thing. I used to hyperventilate whenever I saw anything that was related to weddings. Yun pala when you find the right person it’s not scary anymore 
Aileen Apolo’s last blog post..Valentine’s: What a Girl Wants
@ Zherwin– You’re blessed
@ Aileen– am I hearing a wedding bell? marriage is one of the best thing that happened in my life.
Hello from one HR Professional to another! 
Tish’s last blog post..Win a Blog Review and 1,000 Entrecard Credits!
Hi. Thanks for dropping a comment on my site. You’re right, one of the things that has kept me (and my family) afloat is the simple truth that our heavenly father is with us, and my biological dad is with him already. I’ve browsed through your CV po, and I see you once worked as a professor at Cathedral of Praise? Such wisdom you have in your blog posts. God bless po your ministry, your work, and your family.
Riz’s last blog post..Teh Dream Job, I Can Has It!
Happy to hear of that powerful marriage testimony?You are a role model to us all .God bless you in your marriage as you continue to love and to remain true to each other forever more.My valentine was great and I happened to get a surprise gift from someone i never expected!
Wishing you all a blessed day.
Maggie.
a room full of mirrors means eternity.. right? belated happy valentines..
val’s last blog post..Curiosity Kills The Cat
wow.
I googled “science discovery center” in MOA and this link to your blog and now I find myself reading this post. I’m not yet married as you know but really into a rocky relationship right now.
Ever since I started blogging (5 months ago) I kind of had lesser time with bf and I took him for granted I guess. He never told me he was losing love na (kept it to himself).
So right now, though technically I haven’t made any vows, I was just thinking that if I can’t storm this with him, ano nalang pag married na.
Hannahs last blog post..Twighlight the movie
Hi Hanna,
Nice to have you here. Layo naman yata ng connect ng SDC to love and marriage? Ha ha ha.
Anyways, enjoy life as single and avoid so much emotional baggage. If the 2 of you can still work it out then give it another shot. If the shoe does not fit, then move forward. And find someone you’ll have great chemistry.
But this approach is not applicable when you exchanged vows na with a person. You have to do everything in your power to make marriage work, sans physical and emotional abuse. That’s why you have to think REALLY HARD before exchanging vows.
Do not get married to the first guy who will offer you marriage or because you are pressured, or time is not on your side, or whatever.
Be wise and not emotional. Go for the person who loves you more than you love him. Be practical also, chose someone who has the drive to succeed, if he is not successful or rich yet
If you love the guy more than he loves you, I promise you, you will get hurt in the long run because he thinks you owe him a favor. If you love a guy who is a jerk and easy go lucky, you will support him for the rest of your life.
Sonnie,
Happy hearts day! Nice and timely post
Deb
Deb’s last blog post..Entry : The Iconography of the Modern Filipina